So glad no one reads this

I know that no one reads this. ( I assume) As I haven’t posted since 2009.  So this is going to be just ramble or two.

How can others express themselves so easily? I have been reading some blogs posted by christian women on the topic of their faith. Young women. I am 45 years old and don’t feel qualified to discuss Jesus or Christian growth with others. Its not that I am insecure in my faith, but… I pray. Every day gives me new reasons to love God, new examples of His greatness, power and sovereignty. I do, or abstain from doing, things because I am a Christian. Yet I don’t go around quoting scripture, posting Bible verses on Facebook or the like. Do people know that I am a Christian? When I discuss things with friends and family I feel awkward referring to our faith as a basis for my advice/comments. Who am I to pull the God card?

I am reticent to share books, blogs and such that I have found helpful and edifying. What if I am criticized because the source isn’t biblically sound? People I know go after that sort of thing. I have discovered that I am less discriminating. Is it so wrong not to do a theological background check before reading someone?  Recently I told someone that I really liked, and gained a lot from, a particular book. “Who wrote it?” was the first question. Not “what is it about?” or “what did it say?” Not even a vague promise to look into it.

I am not a wife. I am not a mother. I never learned to cook. I don’t entertain in my home. I do give money to charities. But how else am I living as a Christian? I am so insecure in new ventures. Perhaps because others in my life do things so well. And have been known to talk about others who do things less well, or even differently. Mean thing to say, I know. But is this why I have chosen not to “compete?”

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